Definition of Friendship

Friendship is not simply a "relationship", knowing someone, conversing with that person, or dealing with that person in business, school, or in casual acquaintance. True friendship is not just a "relationship", but self-sacrificing love. A friend is also one who supports, sympathizes, and is a person in whom you can confide. There are unique qualities that a person must have to be considered a friend. When I think about what makes someone a good friend, I think about all the characteristics of my own friends. My personal definition of a friend, is someone who is always looking out for me, and will help me if I’m in trouble. A friend has to be someone I trust and who trusts me in return. Another important characteristic in a friend is someone who I can talk to, and makes me laugh.

To have friendship is to have comfort. In times of crisis and depression, a friend is there to calm us and to help lift up our spirits. There are many illustrations that show why a friend can be a great comforter. For example, if a student is going through a hard time at school, a friend can offer guidance, encouragement and support. A true friend is also someone who loves and respects us.

An acquaintance is not automatically considered a friend. Just because you know someone does not mean there is an instant friendship.This does not mean that an acquaintance cannot change into a valued friendship. There are qualities that a friend must have, but time is also a factor. A friendship can develop in as short as a day, or it could take as long as a few years for full development. In the end, if time is taken for full development, then a real friendship will develop. The main way that trust is built up is with time. When you and a friend have trust, there will usually be a strong friendship. If you can’t trust each other then it is impossible to establish a strong relationship.

When I was very young, I was told not to talk to strangers. Even though I understood the potential for danger, I couldn’t help thinking I might miss out on getting to know someone important if I didn’t extend my friendship. In church, I would peek my head over the pews and smile at one or two people. Most people would smile back at me, and there was not a better feeling in the world! As a child, my definition of friendship included the relationships I had with anyone who smiled back at me.

In junior high school, it became more difficult to acquire and maintain friends. At the time, I felt I was the only one experiencing constant friendship changes. In retrospect, all young people are subjected to the ever-changing nature of children who define and redefine friendship, experiment with identity, and frequently imagine themselves as a different people. We defined ourselves by our dress and speech and by our “cliques.” People were often accessories to their moods. Hearts were broken, but hearts usually healed quickly.

Thus, few people maintain strong friendships with childhood buddies. The children we played sports with or copied our homework from became unique individuals, developing and pursuing diverse relationships. Our paths crossed early on, we grew, and moved on. Every friendship should offer that invaluable opportunity to grow, emotionally connect to another person, and to discern when that connection can carry one through a brief period of life or throughout our entire life.